It is very difficult for me to say No. I am sure there are many other people who face similar difficulty like me. I cannot say No because I am worried that I might hurt someone’s feelings. Off course we do not want to hurt our loved ones and friends, but strangers? Yes, I find it difficult to say a straight no to strangers too. And if I do, I end up explaining the reason behind that ‘no’.
Why do we struggle to say “NO”?
Firstly, because we want to protect our relationships. Secondly, we want to appear like a good and a helpful person. This might be the reason why we find it hard to say no to strangers. Thirdly, we feel that is a social obligation to say yes. And we expect the other person to agree too whenever his turn comes up. And that might or might not happen. This does not only happened in the personal sphere but in professional life too. We end up saying yes too often and get more work load than we deserve. Or end up doing work we are not entitled to do.
How to say NO?
We learn to be courteous and polite since our childhood. But if we keep saying yes to everyone, our own priorities suffer. Whenever a situation arises, take your time and assess if you really want to say a yes. If there is a slight doubt, better say no than regret later. Set your priorities right from the very beginning. Don’t explain yourself or why you are turning down an opportunity. If you not interested at all, do not leave room for further negotiation.
For example, if a friend is inviting you for lunch. When you say “Not tomorrow, I would have come some other day”, you are giving him an opportunity to suggest a different day. So in situations like these, take the decision power in your hands and rather say, “I’m not interested”. When you learn to say No, you retain the power instead of giving it to someone else. You can obviously say no in a more diplomatic way.
Set your boundaries to what is important to you and learn to say No. The cost of saying ‘no’ is mostly not as high as you think. You’ll be happier, less stressed and more productive as a result.
Remember, when you say NO to something that does not interest you, you are saying YES to something which is important to you and requires your time and attention
This blog is a part of my series on A-Z of Parenting, Unlearn the Alphabets after becoming parents and Blogchatter AtoZ.