October 22, 2021

How can you live after you die?


August was a very difficult month for us. My grandmother passed away after being ill for around two months. And that is why we were all left shocked how it all happened so quickly. I miss her so much everyday. I have grown up with her and remember the everyday moments with her and how she cared about us and prompted us to do the right thing at all times. Her “desi nuskhe” have always been so helpful. I was having a stomach ache after dinner a few days ago and I remembered she used to ask me to have a little ajwain (carrom seeds). I did, and I felt much better. Its like I can imagine her saying all these things in her ohh so sharp tone. Everything is so fresh in mind. After her death, everything seemed so meaningless. But eventually as days passed by I realised, she has not really left us, only her body has vanished. She didn’t die, she is living in our memories and our present moments.

How can you live after you die?

We all question life and death after someone close to us passes away. We realise that we have been running after the materialistic things in life and forgot to build memories and leave our impressions on our loved ones. No one will care about which car you owned or how big your house was ! Because in the end everything will be left behind. What will actually matter is how many lives you touched while you were alive. These are the people who will keep you alive in their memories after you die.


Food for thought

So, take a moment, a deep breath and think, who will cry when you die? Have you made real friends? Are you there for your loved ones when they are in need? Do you spend enough time with your family members? Have you made an effort to make your spouse feel special? when was last time you said “I love you” to your loved ones? We are all so busy living that we forget to actual live in the moment. Lets take out time to show gratitude to God for the beautiful life we have and the things we have that we wished and prayed for. Make memories so that we can live even after we die. Lets make our souls immortal.

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48 thoughts on “How can you live after you die?

  1. We often take our life, and our loved ones, for granted. As you said, we should take time out for them. A small ‘I love you’ may not matter now, but will have a huge impact when we are no longer by their side.

  2. That’s a very relevant question!! Life is not about the degrees we have earned and wealth we have amassed because we all know when we go we go bare handed. So we should concentrate on making friends, spending more time with the family and doing good generally. All great people are remembered for what they did for the society! A very thought provoking post!

  3. Such a meaningful post! How true, we spend all our time running after materialist things and care the least for people-the people who are the only ones who will remember us after we are gone!

  4. Hi Anchal, first time here on your blog and I absolutely could relate to your post. I lost my mother in February this year and just like you said, your grandmother has left her body but she continues to live in your memories. I feel the same about my mother, as she appears in my life every single day, in the smallest of things. For instance, she used to say, “Don’t cut your nails and hair on Thursday, as that is the day you were born.” I never questioned her and tried to follow this religiously atlas for sometime till it all got lost.

    I remember her when I churn up my Bengali dishes, the little tips on cooking, the butterfly pea flowers that are blooming on my terrace, from the seeds that I found in her drawer after she crossed over. Used to be her favourite flower for Durga puja. Also called Aparajita.

    Yes, we so forget to cherish the people who matter in our lives, to spend time with them and value them, as we get caught up in the roller coaster journey of life. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.

    This is a very well written post and needs to be circulated far and wide. Please send it to some magazine, they might want to publish it.

    1. Omg. Your comment has brought me to tears. First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I know what it feels to lose someone so close and I pray to God to give you all the strength in the world. My grandma also said the same things. No nails cutting on Thursdays, don’t wash hair on Thursday and Saturday. In face my son was born at my mom’s place. So I have so much wisdom from her about taking care of a new born. Thank you for you love. A big hug to you.

  5. Hugs to you Anchal.
    The soul, the spirit may depart but the fragrance of the memories, scent of the sacrifices linger on in the lives touched by person.
    Your post left me with a lot of points to ponder.

  6. How true is that. What matters at end of the day is how many lives we have touched, how many good friends we have earned. Instead of focusing on materialistic things, its always god to spend time with your loved one, express your feelings to them and make memories for a lifetime.

  7. We all know this, and yet we forget it. We live as if we are never going to die. It’s a good reminder. In the end, nothing matters.
    Enjoy the life and live without any regrets.

  8. I loved the thoughts behind this post 🙂 Woh kehte hai na, ” Jispe Guzaarti hai usi ko pata chalta hai” (Hope it sounds correct and I could say it well :p) Virtual hugs for the loss in your family.
    I agree with each and every sentence above, No individual is ever known by his bank balance or palace he once owned but his always known for his great deeds. Nitin’s dad left him 9yrs back and people still remember him here as he was an RMP and spent his life for old and sick people without expecting money 🙂
    #vigorousreads #MyFriendAlexa

  9. Sorry for your loss.

    I have been considering going on a 90% digital detox after #MyFriendAlexa. Maybe we will be able to give more focus to the world around us.

    Another problem I am facing is the continuous running to complete to do lists that I many a times we don’t have any energy to focus on our relationships anymore

    Namratha from #firstgreenstep #MyFriendAlexa

  10. great post, to be immortalized i think we should be remembered for something. let it be love… definitely today i will take out time to show my love to my parents, sister, brother… because they matter

  11. Dear Anchal, first of all, my deepest condolences on your grandmother’s passing. This is such a beautiful post and rings true for all of us who have lost those we love. They do live on in our memories. In fact, my latest post on #MyFriendAlexa is also something on the same lines and is titled ‘Her Father’s Voice’. I am sure your grandmother will always live on in your heart. God bless!
    #DeepTiesReads #MyFriendAlexa

  12. You are spot on. We can remain alive in the hearts of our loved ones. In this materialistic world we forget that all the money, property etc. will be left behind when we die. Only our actions whether good or bad will be remembered by the people.

  13. I lost my mother 7 years ago overnight to pancreatitis. She lived within me through my writing. If I chose to become a writer, it is only because of her. Your post resonates with me at different level. Beautifully written.

  14. So sorry on the loss of your Grandmother. My husband died very young and he is with me all the time. I never cry if I miss him but I relive the wonderful moments we had together. He was the best husband and human being I know and everyone misses him fondly. My dad was another person who lives on in the memories of most of us. Both were loving, selfless beings. I do try to be like them. #wordsmithkaurreads

  15. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May God gives you all the strength. I agree with your thoughts, we should always cherish our relationships, we should be grateful that our loved ones are with us and we should never leave a moment to let them know how much we value them and love them. I try to make sure that I am always around my people. Making the best of every moment.

  16. I am so sorry for your loss Anchal. Definitely a thought provoking question. Congrats on your 10k Instagram followers.
    #MyFriendAlexa #ContemplationOfaJoker #Jokerophilia

  17. So sorry for your loss Anchal. I know how it feels to lose a grandma. I lost mine two decades ago and still can hear her voice telling me to do this or take care. I do feel her presence all around. I in fact wanted to name my child after her, one of Ts names is the male version of my grandma’s name. Although we dont call him by that name..it gives me happiness that she is there in some form around me.

  18. The life we live matters only because of the people around us. After our death, we will only be living in their memories. So the number of people whom we leave behind with a positive impression matters a lot.

  19. Sorry to hear about your loss!
    A very thought proviking post. In our lifetime we focus on bigger things and get disconnected from the people around us. But, its the smaller moments which will be always remembered.

  20. So sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfather who continues to be my inspiration to write. I’ve lost track of times I wished here were here to help me out with my writing and motivate me. I lost a pillar of support.

  21. It is true, death changes our perspective on things. I feel the same about my grandparents. They live on in our hearts.
    #MyFriendAlexa #literarylehareads

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